"can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?"
Certified Professional Coach (CPC)
After navigating twenty-six long years in the corporate world and sixteen years in a not-so-ideal marriage, I decided I needed a change.
My emotions were swinging back and forth between a feeling of anticipation and a total disappointment in myself. A part of me was looking forward to a fresh start, yet another part felt like a failure telling me I should have figured life out by now.
I knew where I was, was not where I wanted to be. I knew I was tolerating a life far from what I once dreamed for myself. But I didn't know how I got there and why I had tolerated it for so long.
As I tried to find a way out of my struggles, my thoughts kept returning to the same question: "What do you want, Oksan?"
I couldn't come up with an answer. I knew I wanted a better-feeling life. But I was unsure what "better" would look like for me. To understand it all, I realized I needed to understand myself first.
I had nothing to stand on except the awareness of not knowing much about myself or life. But that awareness was enough to push me to embark on a journey of self-discovery. And I am glad it did!
Does your life express your True Nature?
Does it reflect your Personality, convey your Values, make use of your Gifts, and play out your Desires?
If NOT, you are living someone else's life!
Identifying Your Self-Concept
Our Self-Concept is the lens we view our identity. All our life experiences reflect what we believe to be true about ourselves. What we perceive and believe shapes our choices, behaviors, and attitudes. We subconsciously reject anything that doesn't fit in this frame.
Becoming You and Stepping Into Your New Story
If our life is not working at an ideal level, it means our authentic self is buried under our limiting self-concept. By eliminating these self-imposed limitations and embracing more of who we are, we can step into our New Story and create the life we are meant to live.
Tired of tolerating your unfulfilling life?
As we live, we become a collection of things that make us who we are. We take on responsibilities for each role we play in life and form priorities around them. As parents, spouses, and employees, we immerse ourselves into these roles to do our best.
Occasionally our roles align with who we are, our values, priorities, and what we want from life. We use our natural gifts and talents in those roles and feel fulfilled and connected.
Often, however, we are required to alter and shift our identities to fit into our roles. We push aside our dreams and desires, abandon our natural gifts and talents, and neglect the little things that used to give us joy. We find ourselves settling in with relationships, jobs, and situations that provide us the most security. We conform to society and do what is expected of us. We go through the motions and call that a “Life.”
Eventually, however, things start to shift. Kids grow up, parents pass on, marriage takes a different turn, jobs change, and our life alters. That is when we start questioning our sense of identity, our purpose in life, and the direction for what lies ahead. We begin to wonder who we are, what we really want, and what is next.
If you are struggling to find new ground to stand on and feeling stuck, disconnected, or lost while going through these shifts, it means somewhere in your journey; you lost the authentic you. You lost touch with your unique expression and misaligned with your element.
It is time to connect back with YOU!
Who Are You, Realy?
Each of us is created with a unique set of gifts and talents. And each of us is equipped with an internal compass to use these gifts to serve a purpose. To live a fulfilling life, it is imperative for us to understand ourselves.
- Your Core Values: What is important to you?
- Your Core Desires: What do you want to create?
- Your Core Beliefs: What is your self-concept?
- Your Core Strengths: What are you good at?
- Your Core Mission: What do you want to be known for?
A Free Gift for you
Life Transitions bring a lot of confusion due to uncertainty and trigger many uncomfortable feelings.
Knowing ourselves on a deeper level gives us clarity about what we want to create next.
Download this amazing eBook for free!
What They Say...
"I’m so grateful to have found Oksan. She applied her wisdom and strong intuition to help me identify my core personal values in a way that deeply resonated with me. As a result, I was able to regain a sense of confidence that had been lost through a series of tough life experiences. Once my personal core values were identified, Oksan showed me how to leverage these specific and unique values to life’s daily challenges. It’s a new way of thinking that has brought joy rather than worry to making decisions and moving forward. Her warm, caring and fun personality make the entire process a pure delight. Thank you, Oksan."
Oksan has been extremely helpful during these sessions and has opened my eyes to many new perspectives. This program has been life-changing, and I am very grateful.
I strongly recommend Oksan Pilafas to anyone looking for guidance to improve their lives and reach their goals. I have personally experienced the positive impacts of her wisdom on my life. Since I have been following the direction and principles formulated while working with Oksan, I launched a project that I had been planning but not executing for the past four years. As a result of finally using my skills to create and promote weekly videos, I feel a renewed sense of fulfillment and passion that had been lacking in my life. I am in a better place thanks to Oksan’s personalized advice. Because she empowered me to feel a sense of accountability as we met regularly, I continued to make progress towards my goals and achieved some major milestones. I look forward to seeing her help many others on their path to happiness and success.
Having Oksan as my Life Coach is like working with a best friend, a loving sister, or someone you have known for a long time. She puts you at ease right from the start because of her down to earth, genuine, trustful manners. I don’t think there is any subject or solution that Oksan cannot approach or tackle as a Life Coach. She guided me through some major life transitions that hit me about a year ago. Loss of my spouse, sudden changes in my living situation created major turbulence in my life and caused me to doubt myself and lose hope for my future. I had to make some major adjustments in my life and as a result I was feeling depleted. She helped me get through these turbulent times safely and help me stay connected with my personal strength. It has been a very comfortable, professional experience and I feel very grateful.
Since I met Oksan, I am always touched by her warmth, gentleness, kindness, and concern for her fellow human beings. It is truly refreshing to interact and spend time with someone who is genuine and wishes the best for people. Her spiritual strength is amply evident in how she has overcome extremely difficult personal challenges with grace and determination. As a professional life coach, Oksan is keen on sharing her skills, expertise, and knowledge with her clients to be equally successful in addressing their circumstances. Oksan’s voluntary meetup group, Women in Transition, is an example of her commitment to her belief and cause. Although very recent, the Women in Transition group is already on its way to providing solace to several women in the Chicago area. I am confident that this meetup group will only get bigger and better in its scope and the value it brings to the local community. I consider myself very fortunate to have met Oksan and can call her my friend. I wish her success in all her endeavors and look forward to celebrating her ongoing progress in life.
Oksan is a warm, caring, compassionate, generous and genuine individual. I had the privilege to initially meet Oksan when I became a member of her Women in Life Transitions Meet-Up group where she invited me to participate in her “Discovering You” program. I was excited to continue my personal growth and work with Oksan on an individual basis. We both resonated with our similar life philosophy and spiritual beliefs so I felt she was an excellent match to help me move forward in my life. During our time together Oksan offered a nonjudgmental perspective and made me feel valued and important. She encouraged me to address some difficult issues and to take the time to write down my thoughts and feelings. This helped me to gain clarity on how my thoughts and emotions influence my self-expression. My journey of self-discovery motivates me every day and with the support and guidance from Oksan I have been able to learn more about the direction that I want my life to go. So, without hesitation, I recommend Oksan as a personal coach to everyone who is open and willing to move forward in their lives. Many thanks, Oksan!
I had the pleasure of being coached by Oksan. She has an organized, thoughtful approach which she uses with her strong intuition. She is a careful listener and helped me uncover my true values as a means of guiding my future path. I would highly recommend Oksan to anyone looking for a coach to help navigate periods of transition.”
“She is the real deal, and I am very grateful to have found her. Working with Oksan as my coach gave me the clarity and direction I needed to make great improvements in my life. I appreciate that her approach is to understand all aspects of me to help me realize and find my own blind spots that were holding me back. I felt supported and capable of taking the steps at a pace that worked for me. She is a person who is well-rounded, kind, and easy to work with. Her goal is to help you create your best life, and I feel she is very dedicated to helping her clients get there. She holds you accountable but will be there with you every step of the way. She is the real deal, and I am very grateful to have found her.”
“So much weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I have become a better man and in alignment because of it. Thank you Oksan for being such a caring and professional coach. Oksan is an attentive listener and sharp with her questions. I really benefited from the realizations I had during my sessions with her. She gave me the space and time to draw my own conclusions and let me see where I had been out of alignment in my life. Together we created a plan of action for me. It was changed several times and each time Oksan was patient with me and helped me figure out where my roadblocks were. I didn’t think I would but I very much enjoyed this process. So much weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I have become a better man and in alignment because of it. Thank you again Oksan!”
I just wanted you to know the positive impact you have made on my life. I am so happy that I created space for you to enter into my life. I love your energy and your vision to help people. You have helped my life tremendously. Your workshops have given me the courage to follow my dream and move to Florida.
As an individual, who is preparing for the next chapter of my life, it has been a pleasure to have the opportunity to attain valuable insight, feedback, and guidance from you. You have a genuine passion to assist others, especially those in a transitional time frame. The tools, strategies, and coaching you have provided have been a great value in attaining goals and objectives. I certainly enjoyed my time with you and recommend you to anyone who needs guidance to move forward to their next phase in life.
“Oksan, Thank you for being an outstanding listener, I felt truly understood. You did a great job helping me stay focused and gain more clarity so that I can work on what most matters to me.”
Oksan is amazing to work with. She asks excellent questions to dig deep into who I am and what I really want to achieve. Working with her has helped me to understand not only who I am but why. During difficult times, Oksan was able to help me to achieve a sense of calm and remain focused on what I really wanted. I highly recommend her as a professional, patient, and insightful coach!