For forty years, I, like the majority, was trying to live a life I had been told to live. I went to college, got a job, married at age 28, bought a house, had two kids, and started my race in the corporate world. According to the standards of society, I was on the right path.
But the "Right Path" somehow was not feeling so right.
I realized I had been conforming to societal expectations, following the crowd, and trying to do my best to please everyone while losing myself in the process. I was intuitive, so I was tuning into the energy around me and knew exactly what I needed to do to provide value. This ability allowed me to prove myself to the organizations I was working for. I was getting recognized, and it felt good. Unfortunately, however, it did not provide me with long-term fulfillment. If I knew what I know now, I could have tuned into my own energy instead and used my intuition to create a more meaningful life for myself. But I wasn't even aware such a possibility existed. I was on autopilot, conditioned by my environment and busy living within my self-imposed limitations.
When I became aware of this, the thought of living another 20-30-40 years this way felt unbearable. My soul, my intuition, was calling me in a different direction.
Right around that time, I read this by Bill Gove:
If I want to be free, I've got to be me.
Not me; that's what you think I should be.
Not me; that's what they think I should be.
If I want to be free, I've got to be me.
And I need to know who "ME" is!
That is how my internal journey began. I started to read books on the topic. The more I read, the more curious I became about self-development. I signed up for courses, went through countless trainings, hired coaches, and became obsessed with the topic.
One of the most impactful things I did during this journey was to figure out my CORE VALUES. The exercises I did helped me understand myself and get clear on what was important to ME. I discovered a side of myself that I was unaware of. Knowing my core values allowed me to question my beliefs and start viewing life from a different perspective.
I discovered that "Respect, Growth, Courage, Optimism, and Freedom" were my top five values. Examining my life from childhood forward, I realized I enjoyed taking risks.
YET...
- I was married to a man whose top values were Contentment, Safety, and Control, and his natural response toward life was mostly negative (The opposite of what I valued).
- I worked for companies that had no regard for their employees. At my last job, I was selling insurance for a living. I used to sit down with dozens of people every week and persuade them to buy insurance policies. I spent my energy talking about "what if" scenarios, highlighting life's potential risks. (While deep down believing the opposite at my core).
My life did not reflect who I was at my core, so no wonder I was feeling disconnected and empty.
Once I understood that everything made sense.
I was misaligned with my core values and acting out of integrity in two significant areas of my life. Naturally, the other areas were being affected as a result of it. I felt the uneasiness in my heart, and my emotions reflected how I felt. But I was in total denial, afraid, and too busy following the "path."
Shortly after that realization, I made some significant changes in my life. A part of me, the rational side, had excuses to keep following the old path, to stay on the safe side. I had a promising career, I was earning a great income, and besides our differences, I loved my husband. But my heart, my intuitive side, was telling me a different story. If I hadn't discovered myself and understood why I was feeling the discord, I would have stayed and tolerated my life for another 30 years.
The funny thing about awakening to your truth is that once you know what you know, you cannot un-know!
I knew I had to make different choices and walk away from everything that was not aligned with who I was. I had to find the path on which my soul was taking me.
The process of finding myself was by far the most amazing experience I've ever had in my life and one of the most fulfilling ones. My journey inward moved and affected me so profoundly that I was fascinated with the idea of Self Discovery.
I realized that the best gift anyone can give themselves is the gift of "self." Nothing is more exhilarating than truly knowing and understanding yourself and living your life in alignment with your nature.
So, I decided to become a coach to help people to do just that!
I now know;
Life is not about fitting in and dealing with what we have. It is about creating what we want.
It is not about doing it all and getting it done. It is about figuring it out as we go along.
It is not about being perfect. It is about making new decisions, setting new goals, doing the necessary course corrections, and not feeling bad about starting over when we need to.
It is not about completion, it is about the process and the experience.
It is about truly living!
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